I told you I was coming back!! Guys, I’ve been spending almost every waking hour of the past 4 months writing and editing and cutting and redrafting, just not here (If you’re new, hi, I post about not wanting kids on the internet and got a book deal out of it). What I learned from the hours and hours I spent staring at my iPad screen was that I enjoy the routine of it all: grabbing a coffee and sitting, then grabbing lunch and sitting, and then grabbing a glass of wine and sitting some more. So, while I’m almost done writing the book, I’m going to keep the routine.
I promised I’d be back after my deadline, which was supposed to be last week, but then my editor got called away and extended my deadline. I may or may not have burnt myself out a writing the book last week when I thought my deadline was much sooner than it ended up being, so I’m taking a little break and writing something else today.
Oh, also, here’s another thing I realized: people read this. I was sent a YouTube video of a podcasting couple basically shitting on me for 40 minutes, and during part of it they googled me and pulled up my Substack. Surprisingly, they had some nice things to say about my newsletter which… made me feel good? I guess? They also spent a good 2 minutes talking about how pretty I am. I made a video about that, obviously The point is, my Substack comes up when you google me and so people read things I wrote even months and months ago, so I’m not just sending out a newsletter, I’m kind of building a public archive of my opinions? So I should probably keep it up-to-date.
I also feel guilty because SOME OF YOU ARE PAID SUBSCRIBERS EVEN IF I HAVEN’T POSTED IN A WHILE. I KEEP GETTING PAID SUBSCRIBERS. GUYS PLEASE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR SUPPORTING ME BUT I HAVE NOT BEEN RESPONSIBLE OR CONSISTENT ENOUGH TO BE WORTHY OF THAT.
Ok here’s where I admit I lied in the title. I can’t possibly tell you EVERYTHING that happened in the world of birth control while I was away writing my womanuscipt. I’m sure you understand, especially if you are a fellow American citizen, because birth control and reproductive rights and everything related are incredibly controversial hot topics and SOMETHING happens EVERY GODDAMN DAY. I know because I have a google alert set up and oh my god, something happens every goddamn day.
So here are JUST A FEW THINGS THAT HAPPENED RECENTLY IN THE WORLD OF BIRTH CONTROL:
1. AOC is freezing her eggs
Much to the shock and horror of Fox News and the like, 36 year old Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (easily one of my top 3 political figures if I believed in having faith in political figures) has decided to freeze her eggs, and is documenting the whole thing just as a millennial should: on her Instagram story. I had to do this one first because I was genuinely afraid of missing a bunch of information because it disappears after 24 hours.
AOC was first elected at the age of 28, so naturally her career has been a massive consideration when it comes to deciding if and when she wants to have kids. She’s also a very loud advocate for reproductive rights and the safety of women. I fucking love how candid she’s being about her decisions and why she makes them.
Obviously the weirdos on the internet have worked themselves up into a testosterone induced frenzy over the idea that a (GASP) 36 year old woman who is (GASP) engaged, not married, and (GASP) wants to focus on her career, is (DOUBLE GASP) thinking about having kids LATER!! How dare she!
What episode to men stop having stupid ass opinions on women’s reproductive choices? Seriously. I can’t live like this forever.
2. Anne Hathaway is pregnant and gorgeous at 43
Obviously the last one led me in to this one, because people are all freaked about “geriatric pregnancy,” but lets not forget that 2025 was the first year MORE women in their 40s had kids than girls in their teens. HELLO?? That’s a huge fucking win! Not only does it mean unprepared, unplanned teenage pregnancy rates are going down, but also that PREPARED, PLANNED, AND VERY MUCH WANTED pregnancy rates among older, established, secure women are going up. And the fact that Anne Hathaway is SO stunningly gorgeous and perfect in every way definitely defies the idea that women can’t possibly have healthy pregnancies later in life.
Ugh, I do love to see a beautiful woman who is thriving and wants to be pregnant be pregnant. Especially if it makes men mad. What I don’t like is seeing the comment section. These photos are so amazing and she was in so many amazing movies this year… but all anyone is commenting on is that her jeans left an imprint on her skin (as we’re ALL familiar with when we wear jeans to dinner) and that the low rise cut made her skin-toned underwear visible. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH. CAN NOBODY BE NORMAL ON THE INTERNET??? Why is it that the comment section always draws the worst of the bridge trolls that MUST give their opinion??
3. The internet hates birth control
Woof. I don’t know if y’all are on the side of the internet where there is a subtle NOT-SO-FUCKING-SUBTLE misinformation and fear campaign against birth control? It’s the first thing that pops up in my TikTok search results and it comes across my for you page at least once a week.
Listen, I really do get not feeling like women’s bodies are properly researched and that medication with SO many side effects isn’t always helpful. I also understand that LOTS of girls have terrible experiences with birth control and that it fucks up their bodies. I have my own bad experiences with birth control! Nexplanon did NOT work for me. I had the arm implant for 6 months back in 2021 and it made me horribly depressed, gave me painful cystic acne, made me feel crazy, and made my periods 3 weeks long. AWFUL. Then I tried the Mirena IUD, and wow, it literally changed my life for the better in every conceivable way. My depression and my ADHD got more manageable. I rarely get acne. My periods are consistent, light, and short. I owe my life to Ms. Mirena.
Here’s a few things I have to say about birth control:
Firstly, If you tried one form and it didn’t work, I really encourage talking to a doctor or OBGYN and trying something different. There are so many options nowadays, both hormonal and nonhormonal, and it really can be an amazing thing. You DON’T have to take a pill that fucks with you in order to protect yourself against unwanted pregnancy. Not all birth control is the same and not all of it has all those crazy side effects!
Secondly, birth control has been an amazing thing for women. I would argue it’s the most significant thing we have that our ancestors did not. The ability to have the choice is incredible, incredible progress. It upsets me that there are so many women on the internet telling each other that it’s bad and unsafe and terrible and there is no nuance to it at all. There’s this whole thing about it being linked to brain cancer that everyone always freaks out about, but those connections are statistically irrelevant and nothing compared the amount of cancer that birth control actually LOWERS your risk for. Not to mention, do you know what else is linked to several types of cancer? Pregnancy. Every bad thing the 22 year old influencers are telling you about birth control, I guarantee pregnancy could do 10 times worse.
THIRDLY, it’s a right wing pipeline.
I LOVE birth control and I will continue to shout it from the fucking rooftops.
4. New forms of birth control are on their way!
The FDA has approved a new low-dose birth control patch, worn 3 weeks and then taken off for 1 week. There’s also a non-hormonal prescription vaginal gel called Phexxi used kind of like lube that you put in right before sex. The Phexxi people actually took me to a wonderful convention where I met the whole team and saw how the product worked and met a bunch of other people passionate about birth control. Very cool.
Male birth control is getting closer! A male birth control pill that stops sperm production recently passed it’s first human safety trial. Am I annoyed at my prediction that the male birth control pill will be better than anything women get? Yeah. But progress is progress. Plus I obviously have concerns that there might be men out there who would lie about being on the pill, but since this pill would theoretically stop sperm production then… it would be pretty obvious pretty quickly if they were lying. So that’s a plus!
5. Olivia Rodrigo Announces Daisy Chain Fields Festival
Olivia Rodrigo is partnering with a bunch of non-profit organizations that provide aid and advocacy for women and girls. Among them are the Center for Reproductive rights, National Domestic Workers Alliance, and Planned Parenthood. Daisy Chain Fields will be a one day music festival with proceeds going to the before-mentioned orgs. Artists like Chappell Roan, Sarah McLachlan, and Stevie Knicks will be performing, along with Olivia herself.
I did not get tickets. I’m completely fucking devastated.
6. The Administration is doing some bullsh*t
“Title X” is a financial grant that specifically funds clinics that provide “family planning” services. That means pregnancy testing, STI treatment, HIV testing, cancer screenings, and YES, birth control. The Title X grant is extremely important for over 2 million people to have access to reproductive services, and mostly goes to low income areas and people who don’t have access to healthcare.
This year, the Trump administration is changing the primary goal of the Title X grants from providing contraceptives to Americans… to prioritizing “natural family planning,” or tracking one’s menstrual cycle and avoiding sex during fertile windows.
Remember 2 seconds ago when I said demonizing birth control was a right wing pipeline?
I grew up in a religious family with over 50 cousins because my grandma didn’t believe in taking birth control. She believed it was God’s will if she got pregnant or not—naturally, she had 10 kids.
Any basic reproductive class will tell you sperm can live an extra 3-5 days in your body. Those “fertility windows” are bigger than you might think. And are we forgetting not everyone’s cycle is 100% consistent and reliable?? How many times this year has your period been early, or late, or never came at all, or lasted way longer than usual? My period was 11 days late in April.
Basically, removing access to birth control for MILLIONS of people under the guise of promoting “natural family planning” is going to get a lot of people who don’t want to be—or can’t afford to be—pregnant. And let’s be very clear: THAT’S THE POINT.
It’s insidious when you really think about it. I’ve been telling all my girlfriends to get IUDs because access to birth control is about to get a lot harder. Did you know some IUDs are cleared to last up to 10 years now? if you get an IUD today it will DEFINITELY outlive you-know-who.
That’s all for now! Hey, cheers to being back up on that Substack horse!
P.S. can anyone at Substack headquarters PLEASEEEEE fix the mobile app? I want to write on my iPad but the app is genuinely unusable for drafting. Thank you for your attention to this matter!
If the pill for men only stops the sperm production, there would still be seminal fluid, since the sperm only makes up about 5% of the fluid. Or does the pill stop the production of everything? If not, men could easily lie about taking the pill, right? That sounds kind of scary.
Can't wait to read your book! You've been an inspiration of reproductive health to lots of young women and your impact on researching the consequences of pregnancy has been one of a kind.